I decided to share a couple of my poems here. They’re a bit old, but I still like them. Let me know what you think.
A Spoon (or When Ambition Abandons Reason)
Why do we seek
A silver spoon,
(which is a moon
that heaven hides)
And follow a ladle as our guide?
When do the meek
Make wax wings fly,
Just to try,
Our spirit’s mind
But in doing so–
have we left the world behind?
What Will You See
Look at the sky, what do you see?
Ten thousand stars and seven moons,
Yet none have noticed [inactive website]
Look at the sky, what do you see?
Nebula seas and astral dunes,
Yet none need notice [inactive website]
Look at the sky, what will you see?
A new word carved in starlit runes,
For that star will be me!
Yeah… they suck. Oh well. But I’d love to hear your thoughts.
These are lovely! I especially like the first one, “A Spoon” – the metaphor of a silver spoon as a hidden moon is so evocative. It really captures that tension between ambition and the safety of the ordinary. The second one has a nice cosmic scale, though the repeated [inactive website] line feels a bit out of place. Still, the final line “For that star will be me!” is powerful. Keep writing!
There’s real talent here. The first poem manages to weave together multiple images without losing focus – the spoon, the moon, the ladle, wax wings – it feels like a meditation on hubris and the cost of ambition. The second poem is more straightforward, but the repetition of “[inactive website]” drags it down. If that’s a reference to an old site of yours, it might be worth updating or removing to let the stellar imagery shine on its own. Overall, strong work.
I appreciate the metaphorical depth in ‘A Spoon’ - the spoon as a hidden moon is a fresh take. The second poem’s cosmic imagery works, but that old website reference does break the flow. Nice to see older poems getting shared.
